Ever Get That Feeling That You Started A Band At 6AM?

It started about two months ago.

I was feeling an incredible lack of motion and forward movement in my life. Daily drudgery was reaching its peak point, and the exhaustion of the Christmas season wasn't quite cured by my lack of hours at work yet.

Actually doing something worthwhile with my life seemed out of my league. I felt trapped in this maze of what amounted to menial work for "the man".

A glimmer of hope came from a seminar I attended during the summer at Soulfest. The speaker showed a chart that would help us determine our "personal inventory"; our gifts and talents we may have not even realized yet.

Sitting in the Wal-Mart break room, I started to write these things down. Any direction was better than no direction at this point.

The first column was entitled "Things I'm Good At (Gifts)"

So I wrote down the following:

Making people smile

Having a decent singing voice

Having a decent metal voice

Being an awesome medic in Battlefield

Screaming at strangers

Random humor

Collecting the different pieces of a song and putting them together

Writing lyrics

Making ramen

Defending video games and heavy music

I sat back and looked at my list, and being satisfied with the contents, I leaned forward and wrote out my second column, "Things I Like (Passions)":

Ramen

Video gaming

Playing guitar

Screaming at strangers

Destroying stages

Breakfast

Making my fiance giggle

Driving around with metal blaring

Shiny video games

I kinda left it at that until right now, where I find myself filling out the third column, "Things I Want To Do (Goals/Dreams)

Be the best husband ever (soon enough)

Be the best father ever (after a certain wedding ceremony, thank you kindly)

Be a vocalist in a metal band

Be a vocalist in a worship band

Be a vocalist in an acoustic band

Inspire people with my lyrics

Draw people closer to God with my lyrics

Make people think with my lyrics

100% Super Meat Boy

See Project 86 in concert again

Leave college with a 4.0 GPA

Get a tattoo

Make my wife giggle every day of our marriage

Get into shape

So from here, I get a fuller picture of my inventory; what I'm good at and how it ties into my dreams.

Starting to see the trend here?

I'm gifted in the area of music.

I thoroughly enjoy making people laugh.

I love constructing lyrics to a song.

No one dies on Mama Lopez's watch during a Battlefield match (a self-inflicted moniker for my medic).

I really want to do something with music.

I REALLY want to do something with music

I REALLY, REALLY want to do something with music.

And yet, it seemed like every project I was involved in seemed to fall apart soon after we gained a little steam.

It felt like my dream was dependent on other people and their schedules and their agendas and their ideals and their preferences. *

It was all their fault that I never got to use my talents to their fullest.

Or was it?

What I hadn't realized (or even thought of, at this point) was maybe all of those weren't God's timing and God's people.

Huh.

What a novel concept.

So here I was, full of ideas and lacking ambition, I finally got sick of myself and decided something.

I was tired of whining.

I'd been whining about how no one wants to start a band, no one wants to collaborate with me, my brother isn't metal enough, blah, blah, blah.

At 6AM, I decided to step out in faith, to let God take my talents and bring people to me that were the ones He wanted me to partner with. I took all responsibility for my future off my shoulders and put them on the everlasting arms. With humility and brokenness, I followed the dream I felt that God had placed in my heart.

I started a band.

Fame Is Infamy was born, a tiny two cents in a world of millions of dollars.

And I have no idea where it's going. I've completely left this in God's hands, letting Him use my humble offering, or not.

I'm keeping my eyes and heart open, letting God lead me and others however He chooses. If He closes the door, there's another one around the corner. I'm not worried. I'm not going to fret.

I'm just stepping out in faith on this one.

*Kids, that's a terrible way to write a sentence. Don't do that. I can do it because I'm a trained blogger with years of experience that keeps me safe. You'll shoot your eye out.